Each of us has had at least one startling event in our lives. These experiences can range from traumatic or tragic to exciting or awe-inspiring. They often lead to new insights or ways of thinking and perceiving the world. They tend to mark a turning point which we refer back to as being the beginning of a new phase in our lives. Here is one of my turning points.
My son was seventeen when he was diagnosed with brain cancer and we were told he had two to five years to live. He died two and a half years later on a sunny warm spring day in 2001. What followed for me was a journey through grief and healing.
Grieving is very personal each of us approaching it in our own way, taking our own time. Many never fully complete the process and grieve the rest of their lives.
After Michael died I did not know what to do with myself. I wept, sat silently, wandered aimlessly. In the first month I focused on putting together the Memorial Service but after that I was functionally depressed. I felt that after a few months no one would really want to hear my story anymore so I shut down and tried to deal with my pain on my own.
Finally my doctor convinced me to try antidepressants. Almost immediately I was feeling better but knew that the drugs were suppressing the grief that would need to be faced. Soon I chose to discontinue medication as for me it seemed inappropriate and I wanted to find another way. I also knew that counseling of the traditional variety was not for me. I felt that nobody else could take my pain away for me and that I needed to do the healing work on myself from within. I just didn’t know how and began to seek guidance in this process.
Over several months a series of events eventually led me to begin studying a course in personal Awareness and Transformation with Kris and Kalyn Raphael (affectionately called K2 and former students of don Miguel Ruiz author of The Four Agreements). Through their guidance I have done much inner healing and growth work and have been introduced to effective tools and processes for dealing with life’s challenges. The key is that the work is done on oneself as no one can heal you but you. A good guide will know his students well because he’s done the work himself and (as this process is ongoing) continues to learn, grow and evolve.
At some point the student finds that passing on this knowledge and these tools to others has become a deep desire. As my life has changed positively in so many ways a wish to share the ‘whats’ and the ‘hows’ of developing personal awareness and making personal transformation reality is a priority for me.
Love and Light,