One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, “My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all. One is Evil – It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other is Good – It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf wins?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
DEEPER INTO THE TWO WOLVES
A tendency we have in being human and living in a world of duality is to believe it’s an either/or world. We feel we must choose between the good wolf and the evil wolf. What we tend to end up doing is choosing one side of the coin of the ‘bad’ wolf.
The ‘bad’ wolf has all these emotions of “anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority”. And this ‘bad’ wolf has behaviors or reactions to situations in life that we judge as unacceptable.
In particular the most unacceptable reactions are aggressive or very “out there”, “in your face” behaviors. In adopting these behaviors we either succeed (eg – get what we want) or fail. (Think of a tantrum-ing two year old receiving the candy he’s screaming for just to get him to be quiet.) When we fail to receive the desired result we adopt a different behavior.
This new behavior may be more aggressive or could be something passive. We can put on a false face of “joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.” We become ingratiating, appeasing, reclusive, pitying, etc. These behaviors are more accepted but are simply the other side of the coin. We may receive what we’re looking for and feel better for a while but then we’ll notice that we’re not getting what we want any more and go into the behavior again.
WHAT IS IT THAT WE WANT?
It’s not candy…or a fancy car…
To find the answer to this we need to look at those feelings that we are experiencing. When we want something it’s an indication that something is missing.
It IS something that is an authentic need and when the authentic need is given and received by you the authentic expression and feelings of “joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith” will be there naturally.
WHAT ARE AUTHENTIC NEEDS?
Authentic needs are:
- freedom to express Who you truly are
Look beneath the feelings of fear and anxiety. Do you feel safe? Do you hoard money or things to feel more secure?
Look beneath the anger and frustration. Do you feel free to Be and express who you truly are?
Look beneath the envy, arrogance, inferiority and superiority. Do you need acceptance or approval?
Look beneath the self-pity and alone-ness. Do you need love? Do you need connection?
Ultimately what we are all seeking is unconditional love. We need to be loved no matter what and then we can extend that unconditional love to everyone else.
WHERE TO FIND UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
It’s there within.
The “evil” wolf is simply a part of us that is hurting because it has authentic needs that have never been met. It’s the bully and the victim within. Its up to You in your Authenticity to give to your bully/victim what it needs – safety, security, freedom to Be, acceptance, approval or love with Unconditional Love.
When you do this you are Being the One that You are – The Only One – the ‘good’ wolf.