Our Subconscious

Last week we began looking at childhood wounds.  These wounds come about through basic needs not being met.  We know that we must heal these parts of self from within –  Self to self.

Bricks in the Wall

But we must know what the need is.  Over time this need becomes distorted by our coping mechanisms and ways of dealing with the feelings around the unmet need create behaviours to compensate for not having had the need met.  These compensations are bricks in the wall of the subconscious.

We begin to protect ourselves from our unmet need by masking it or hiding from it.

Without a sense of Safety we may become a victim or a bully.  We may hide from everything that scares us or we may fight it tooth and nail.

Without a sense of Security we may hoard money or things or cling to the people in our lives.  Or we may throw up our hands and spend with abandon or take unnecessary risks.

When a wound is around Control or Autonomy we may become rebellious toward or cowed by authority.  We may follow rules to the letter and make more up for ourselves or become indecisive and want others to make our choices for us.  We may become demanding and authoritarian or submissive and acquiescent.

Without a sense of feeling Accepted we may become reclusive or do anything to be liked.  We may decide we like to be alone or that people are too much trouble.  Without a sense of being Approved of we may try constantly to prove ourselves worthy.  Or we may decide our contribution is of no value.

Without a sense of feeling Loved we may close our hearts.  We may feel we are unlovable or we may try to find ways to be loveable.

When we begin to grasp at or repel from the wounds of unmet needs we begin pretend to be something other than Who we truly Are.  We are putting on the mask of pretension and we will call this ego.


About Coach Mary

Mary is a Master Maven Coach (Maven Method™) - one of the deepest reaching and most effective coaching methods at present and is also trained in the Golden Flow™ Method of releasing blocks and flowing with life. She has completed the Mastery of Awareness and Transformation courses with Kris and Kalyn Raphael, certified personal growth guides from the don Miguel Ruiz lineage (world renowned author of The Four Agreements). Mary’s life experience has exposed her to many varied careers, many joys and some deeply painful events. She has released and healed the crushing grief from the death of her son to rediscover the love and joy of life. All have led to an inner awakening and a drive to know her Self deeply and to live life fully, consciously and with Intent. Among her dreams is to guide and support others in their journey through self-awareness and transformation.
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6 Responses to Our Subconscious

  1. homebadger says:

    It is so scary how much your current thread is mirroring my own current journey. I will be thinking something, and the next day you are writing about it. I would say “get out of my head” except you are such a helpful spirit there! 🙂 Will write about this myself at some point, but still too raw. You are a blessing, lady!

  2. Coach Mary says:

    I am glad to be of help and I look forward to reading your writing on this topic. Poking holes in the subconscious can leave one feeling quite raw but it does get easier.

  3. Excellent. Really good points and things to think about. Thank you.

  4. athenabrady1 says:

    Great post enjoyed reading it.

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