And so! Now we are aware that we have been “asleep”. We are practising staying awake, we are looking within and we are watching ourselves interacting in our daily lives gaining piece by piece a deeper understanding of ourselves. As yet we are not changing anything as this would hinder our coming to know ourselves. Changing or altering our behaviour patterns will only serve to mask them so for now our aim is to observe. We have established a meditation practise and we are as consistent with this as we can be.
Sometimes we forget – actually we often forget!
- We forget to meditate and
- We forget to remember ourselves and
- We forget to observe ourselves.
But we have realized that we must be patient and gentle with ourselves for if we are not we make this journey difficult and in fact it is a joyful journey of discovery when we choose to see it as such.
We keep bringing ourselves back to our intent to meet ourselves, to stay awake and to observe and the more we remember the more we are able to stay awake and connected to ourselves. We begin to see more and more that we did not see before!
We now understand that our subconscious selves may have some alternative intents to our main intent of awareness. They are the immature selves that are looking to have a basic need met. They tend to be grasping or repelling and they can cause havoc in our lives. We’ve all met people who can be ‘needy’, ‘whiney’, angry, controlling, aloof, judgemental or obsequious and we notice that we’ve had our turns at being these as well.
We see though that we are not always being these little needy selves and that there is a self that is more mature and purposeful in being awake and aware. We may see that this self has stepped forward to take charge of being awake.
Sometimes, though it is not always as energetically strong in its ability to corral all the other little selves within. So what we are doing in setting our intent to stay awake and observe is giving this more mature intent-ful self our focus so that it can act within to keep some order among all the little selves that inhabit us. We can call this self our housekeeper, manager, captain, steward, minister, chief, etc.
This self will oversee the running of our show by
- cleaning things up
- establishing order
- developing a sense of clarity of purpose
- shining its light on our stage.
So while we are observing all these little selves and the fascinating ways in which they manifest themselves we will also give our attention to our leader self to ensure our intent for staying awake, observing and gaining maturity. For now we will refer to this leader self as Self (with a capital S).