Who or What Is At Fault?

We are needing to go deeper into the subject of blame.

  • Blame implies fault.
  • It requires our belief that an external impetus or a force is being exerted upon us.
  • It absolves us of responsibility.
  • It puts us in a place of denial.

We all do this consistently on an individual basis as well as collectively.  

Shifting Out of Blame

Here are a few sayings we have been hearing over and over:

  • You can’t change anyone but yourself
  • Be the change you want to see

Recognize that these sayings (which we are understanding better and better) puts the onus on ourselves!  There is nothing in them that indicates anything but Self.  Not one  thing else is involved in the change we may be wanting.  It is all about each of us individually and all of us collectively.

What We Don’t Like

We can list many things on a personal and collective basis that we experience that are not to our liking.  Here is a partial list of things, circumstances and people:

  • that threaten our physical well-being such as
    1. illness,
    2. accidents,
    3. bullies,
    4. war,
    5. poverty,
    6. destruction of the environment…


  •  that reduce or restrict our pleasure and creative juices such as
    1. morals,
    2. laws,
    3. beliefs,
    4. judgements…



  •  that deplete our sense of self worth such as
    1. grading systems,
    2. pay levels,
    3. critiques
    4. performance reviews….

  • that leave us feeling unloved and unlovable such as
    1. divorce
    2. abandonment
    3. neglect
    4. disregard

If we attract these things the question arises:

Why is this so and what can we/I do to shift our/my experience to one which is preferable?

Until we are willing to see how we fault others or circumstances we will not progress and Life will continue to show us that outside influences are the reason things happen.  As long as we believe something or someone is responsible for what is going on for us nothing will change.


Here’s a topic that most of us can relate to as we have all been affected by this illness in some way or another.

  • We think of cancer as something that hurts or threatens us.
  • We see it as invading our bodies and attacking our very existence.
  • We think we must fight it.
  • We initiate campaigns to raise money to continue research into how to battle this scourge.
  • We personify it and focus an enormous amount of attention on this” beast”.
  • We ask each other to join our cause against cancer by walking in support of it (now that’s the opposite of fighting it and is the same energy).
  • We ask each other to turn Facebook pink in support of breast cancer awareness.

All this activity, all this attention makes it bigger in our awareness and thus we see and experience it everywhere.  Whatever is in our awareness will bring us more.

Think of babies and you’ll be seeing babies and pregnant women almost every time you turn around especially if you are wanting to start a family.


But, How Do We Stop Cancer?

  • Stop focussing on it.
  • Stop fighting it.
  • Stop thinking about it.
  • Stop worrying about it.
  • Stop fearing it.

The more we push at it the more we bring it on.

This sounds flippant because for many of us it is a serious concern but in it’s being a serious concern cancer just got bigger!  And now we start trying to make it go away and then when it won’t we face it and fight it and it fights back.  And the cycle or vortex gets bigger and stronger and more difficult to release.

Let It Go!

Remember Bird Flu?  We were all so afraid of that but after a while our attention turned to other things and bird flu flew away!  Let it go and it’s gone!

When we stop putting money (which is energy) into research (which is mental energy) on cancer, when we stop fearing it, when the media stop entertaining us with the horrors of it, when we stop saying, “cancer killed these people” (this personifies and empowers it), when we let cancer go it will no longer be what it now is to us.

Personal Note

It has not been easy for me to come to this understanding.   My own experience with cancer includes the death of my son and I wanted to blame cancer for my loss and my grief.

How could I possibly have brought this on myself?  What energy within me is drawing experiences such as this?  What darkness do I hold that reflects such sadness to me?

The answers to these questions can only come with inner reflection as each of us individually will find the answers that apply to us.  How or why I and my son would share this experience will have different answers than those anyone else would have.  And yet, as I heal and release my energies around this experience that will help the collective of those experiencing similar energies.

It is not easy to look at the darkness or shadows within.  It takes courage but once that first beam of light (or awareness) is shone the darkness has no more power.


About Coach Mary

Mary is a Master Maven Coach (Maven Method™) - one of the deepest reaching and most effective coaching methods at present and is also trained in the Golden Flow™ Method of releasing blocks and flowing with life. She has completed the Mastery of Awareness and Transformation courses with Kris and Kalyn Raphael, certified personal growth guides from the don Miguel Ruiz lineage (world renowned author of The Four Agreements). Mary’s life experience has exposed her to many varied careers, many joys and some deeply painful events. She has released and healed the crushing grief from the death of her son to rediscover the love and joy of life. All have led to an inner awakening and a drive to know her Self deeply and to live life fully, consciously and with Intent. Among her dreams is to guide and support others in their journey through self-awareness and transformation.
This entry was posted in awareness, Beliefs, Energetic Vibration, Fear, grief, healing, Law of Attraction, loss of child, Manifesting, Self Empowerment, The Work, Uncategorized, understanding ourselves and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Who or What Is At Fault?

  1. homebadger says:

    You did it again! Made me think… and I have to go to work at 4:30… I love when you write! Gonna think more about this one! Hugz!

  2. Joan Duncan says:

    Mary – I don’t think I’ll live long enough to change my thoughts on this – or see mankind have this line of thought – but that’s just me. See you on Monday. Hugs – Joan D.

    • Coach Mary says:

      Hi Joan,
      This is one of the toughest shifts in perception to work through. We’ll be talking more about this here on this blog as well as in group.
      Love and Light,

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